Every day I wake up and depending on god knows what, I either want to stay in bed or force myself to get up. My nine year old asks me to please come downstairs with her as she gets ready for school. After that I have to decide if I will have the courage to call clients, It's my own form of torture. Because everyday that I don't is another day of paralysis by anaysis. another day of self imposed exile, but Woody Allen said it best " I need a vacation, but I can't get away from myself."
Then I shower and start the process of reinvention. Eye cream, serum, day cream(spf 30). Concealer, mineral powder, bronzer, blush, eye shadow(base,contour,lid,liner,highlighter,mascara). Blow out hair, lipstick, gloss. Whew! (I am an make up artist fyi.)
Anyway, this is the one thing that I consistantly do. It gives me the feeling of having purpose. It is the one thing I have total control over. It is power. I wield the weapons of my warfare. Brushes, sponges, lash curlers, blow dryers.
I like how people look at me. She is powerful, successful, on her game, but down inside I don't feel that way. How many others are the same way?
I think it's a game we've perfected. It's all just smoke and mirrors. We're playing dress up and fighting for our sanity.
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