A watched pot never boils

I had one of those days yesterday. You know. When your still upset about some occurance from the day before, that has gone unresolved or not discussed. Then everything sort of builds and boils over because the heat is still on the stove. The feelings of panic. Then it gets really interesting. What is the next thing that will set me off? Dirty laundry, kitchen not cleaned or done half assed, dirty floors, books and papers everywhere. Mind you, I have four kids, three of them very capable, albeit lazy teens, and one very obstinate nine year old. This of course has nothing to do with the unresolved stuff, it just fans the flame of frustration. I better figure out what I'm going to do with myself. How do I start putting together the next chapter of me? The last few years have been straight out of a Stephen King novel. I need to work. I have nothing to show for what I am "talented" at. My old pastor(creep)used to say "what's in your hand?". Which is really funny becaause he left us empty handed and my husband still gives him ten percent plus of our income. That's for another blog. Anywho, he meant what can you do know with what you have to make money(the irony of course being that he would get a chunk out of it.) I digress, again. So i do have a way to make money but my hearts not in it. The failure monster. Or I go back to school in the event my marriage falls apart and I have to take care of myself. Then again, somebodys got to do it. I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings.